39 Best Funny WhatsApp Statuses
- Viral Noax
- Aug 27, 2014
- 3 min read
I should win an Academy Award for every time I pretend to not see someone I know in public.
I am at the gym! Well, the parking lot. They have free wi-fi.
Everything enjoyable makes you fat, an addict, or broke.
Coffee keeps me busy until it’s acceptable to drink beer.
Just went downstairs alone to get a drink and didn’t run like hell upstairs after I turned the light off so I guess I’m a grownup now.
Urban Dictionary has saved me from asking so many awkward questions.
I’m writing this from the hospital. Don’t worry! The doctors say I’m going to be OK but I must warn you. The Dyson Ball Cleaner has a very misleading name!
My road to success is under construction and all the workers are out getting shitfaced.
If you leave Tokyo by plane at 7am, you will arrive in Honolulu at approximately 4:30 the previous day.
Bed is always the comfiest right at the time you are supposed to be getting out of it.
I am pretty sure dry cleaning is a scam where they just laugh and rub money on your clothes then hang them back up in a plastic bag.
I didn’t scream out someone else’s name during sex. I was thinking of baby names in case you get pregnant…
Sometimes you have to accept that the person you fall for isn’t ready to catch you.
I need to adjust the brightness settings for my future.
What if our entire universe is just in a tiny glass jar placed neatly on a shelf in an alien child’s room as a science project?
Make your employees work 8x faster by constantly playing that music from Sonic the Hedgehog when you’ve been under water for too long.
Feeling someone smile while kissing them is the best feeling ever.
I’m sorry, your photo is so confusing. You’re gonna need to hashtag every detail of it for me so I can grasp what’s going on here.
It’s pretty scary that before facebook … all this stuff just stayed in peoples heads …
I need an app that just screams “Put the phone down and go do something, idiot!” whenever I pick my phone up.
When you can’t take a joke, you become one.
Business Idea: Minding your own.
I was gonna take over the world this morning but I overslept. Postponed. Again.
Sometimes it’s easy to forget we would all violently murder each other if we couldn’t obtain basic food or water. Have a great day guys.
A house is not a home until you can find all light switches in the dark.
Don’t judge a man until you’ve walked a mile in his shoes – unless he wears those weird toe-shoe things. You may judge that man immediately.
The worst part of being an insomniac is having to eat spiders while I’m awake to maintain my yearly average.
Press 1 for someone who probably learned English last year but is going to try and communicate effectively with you anyway.
Sometimes you can tell it’s going to be a bad day when someone you don’t like is smiling.
Why can’t my coworkers just play on the Internet like normal people instead of trying to engage me in conversation.
Looks don’t matter to me if you’re attractive.
If you eat it in the car before you get home, it never existed.
Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is understanding that the other person is an idiot.
I could amaze you with the things I don’t know and terrify you with the things I do know.
I’m bored. Anyone need anything avenged?
One time I put my phone in my pocket and didn’t take it out for like almost 5 minutes.
I make the other half of the Oreo watch.
Sometimes you have to photoshop your life. Touch up edges, adjust the tones, blur the background, focus on yourself & crop some people out.
You should be able to park in an “expecting mother” parking space if you’re waiting for your mom.
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