73 Best WhatsApp Statuses On Life
- Viral Noax
- Aug 27, 2014
- 5 min read
We should do this “3-day weekend” thing more often.
Adulthood – Pros: you can eat ice cream in bed. Cons: this will somehow make you sadder.
The brain is like the most outstanding organ. It works for 24 hours, 365 days, right from your birth until you fall in love.
Always love a woman for her personality. They have like 10, so you can choose.
I’m sorry for what I said when I was hungry.
Sometimes I feel guilty for skipping songs on my phone like I’m sorry song I love you I’m just not in the mood for you I’ll come back later.
Unplanned moments are always better than planned ones.
Got a dig bick. You that read wrong. You read that wrong too.
That awkward moment when you sleep over at a friend’s house and wake up before them, then pretend to sleep till they wake up.
The only stock options I have are chicken and beef.
I can see exactly 6 years into the future. I have 2020 vision.
We never hear anything from Rick Astley these days. It’s almost like he’s given us up, and let us down.
If you go to dinner alone always ask for a table for two. Look sad as you eat and you will almost always get a free dessert
If it can’t be fixed with duct tape…then you aren’t using enough duct tape.
Don’t trust people who avoid the sun. They’re shady.
People assume I’m smart when they see my glasses case. Then they see that I use it to store a Twix bar and they recognize my true genius.
I’m ready for hoodie weather.
I wish there was a rollover plan for all the Childhood naps I refused.
Not wanting to check your bank account because you don’t want to see how much money you don’t have.
I’m not the “cute” awkward….. I’m the “what the hell is wrong with you” awkward.
“Women don’t want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think… in a deeper voice.” -Bill Cosby
Sometimes the smartest thing you can do is play dumb.
The question isn’t who is going to let me it’s who is going to stop me.
Sometimes life feels like Rainbow Road.
I constantly go between being extremely anxious about all the things I have to do and literally not giving a shit. There is no in between.
What’s that Jennifer Aniston film where she plays a kooky girl who ultimately finds love?
I will stop eating ice cream out of the container once I make it completely level.
“We had to buy an entire shitty album just for the 2 decent songs” is the new “we had to walk uphill both ways in the snow.”
All guys should learn from Mario. No matter how far their princess is, they should go after her.
Nothing stings more than an ignored friendship request on Facebook.
Sure, you can sit next me. The other 123 empty chairs in this movie theatre probably suck anyways.
I do something awesome, no one sees it. I do something embarrassing, everyone sees it.
Has anyone ever put an extra scoop of detergent in their laundry load because they felt their clothes were too dirty?
This month has five Fridays, five Saturdays, and five Sundays but only FOUR Mondays. You’re welcome!
That awkward moment when the weirdest person in your school gets a girlfriend/boyfriend, and you’re still forever alone.
“Just because you’re offended, doesn’t mean you’re right.” -Ricky Gervais
Don’t let idiots ruin your day.
Wonder if anyone actually acts like a crazy racist nutjob to avoid jury duty.
Don’t talk to me about bravery until you’re watching a horror film, alone in bed, with one leg out of the covers.
This guy came up to me and said he needed a glass of water but his pants were on fire so, he probably was lying about needing it.
I have Attention Deficit Disorder. I get distracted easily because my head… SHOULDERS, KNEES, AND TOES! KNEES AND TOES!
FACT: Mimes always scream when you kick them in the balls.
Any psycho girls wanna hang out? Just text me like 5000 times and let me know.
If you could choose between ending World Hunger or Bill Gates’ money, what color would your Lamborghini be?
Sometimes you have to forgive and forget. Forgive them for hurting you and forget that they exist. Move on!
Instead of thinking about what you’re missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing.
The cool thing about The Clapper is it doubles as a strobe light during sex.
If I ever say the phrase “okie dokie artichokie” to you, it means I’m wearing a wire.
Under no circumstances shall a call be made to another male after 2 a.m., unless its to get bailed out of jail.
I hate when people say, ” I gotta get my body right for the summer”..like, wtf are going to do about your face??
The only reason why people hold onto memories is because memories are the only things that don’t change when everyone else does.
It’s a humbling moment when you realize your dog or cat has actually trained you to do something.
Home is where the pants come off.
I would unfriend you but I enjoy laughing at your life.
I never understood why people use a persons picture for their caller ID; me personally I prefer to take a picture of myself and how that person makes me feel.
Netflix is soo much better than going out and pretending to like people.
That awkward moment when the titanic sunk because the look out guys were watching rose and jack makeout.
Saving a file and then realizing you have no idea where you just saved it.
If I was a bird, I know who I’d crap on.
I unfriend people on Facebook on their birthday because that’s when I realize I don’t know who they are.
That awesome moment when you hear a song and the lyrics describe your situation perfectly..
I just unfollowed Taylor Swift on Twitter. I’m expecting a song within an hour.
I wish I had the power to ignore you, like you ignore me.
Yeah. I’m WEIRD. (W)onderful, (E)xciting, (I)nteresting, (R)eal, (D)ifferent.
That awkward moment when you tell a funny joke… to the person who told it to you.
Like this with your bottom lip! (99% of people can’t do it)
When I’m the last one awake and I’m going to bed I run for my life to my room then do a superman dive into my bed.
I don’t care what the expiration date says, I have to smell it.
Me: *drops phone* Headphones: I got you bro.
Are you related to Yoda? Cause yodalicious.
Sweatpants and a hoodie: Sexy and I know it, but too lazy to show it.
I see myself as a crayon, I may not be your favorite color, but I know someday, you will need me to complete your picture.
Comentários