Funny joke for facebook and SMS 😂 – statuscollect

Funny Joke for Facebook and SMS😂

My name is (name) remember that, you’ll be screaming it later.

I wish you were a door so I could slam you all day long.

Where you born on a farm? Cause you sure know how to raise a cock!

I’m trying to determine after years of therapy and lots of testing, whether or not I’m allergic to sex.

Love is blind, and greed insatiable.

Some people say the glass is half empty. Others say it’s half full. I’m just happy to have a glass!

Your parents must be retarded, because you are special.

Lets play Titanic, you’ll be the ocean and ill go down on you.

If people have a problem with u, always remember, it is THEIR problem.

When you really want to slap someone, do it and say – mosquito.

Laziness is my middle name.

Thinks that Facebook should change the status question from “what’s on your mind?” to “what’s your problem today?”

My friend has just updated his status saying. Is balancing on the edge of a cliff… So i poked him.

I don`t have a bad handwriting, I have my own font.

You don’t have to like me, I’m not a Facebook status.

I’m the kind of person who bumps into inanimate objects, says, Oops, I’m sorry. And doesn’t stop to ask himself why he’s talking to a wall.

Facebook is like jail, you sit around and waste time, write on walls, and get poked by people you don’t know.

Next time someone presses the elevator button you’ve already pressed, act totally impressed and tell them they did it waaaay better than you.

If bar tenders aren’t allowed to sell alcohol to drunk people, then McDonald’s shouldn’t be allowed to sell food to fat people.

It`s too late to apologize. The damage is done.

Don’t be afraid to make mistakes.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, i am afraid of widths.

Men are like BLUETOOTH connection, when UR beside them they stay connected but when you are away they search for new devices.

We surely shall see the sun shine soon.

Long legged ladies last longer.

The blue bluebird blinks.

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck woo dhow much.

He threw three free throws.

I saw a kitten eating chicken in the kitchen.

She sells sea shells on the sea shore.

I thought I thought of thinking of thanking you.

Hassock hassock, black spotted hassock. Black spot on a black back of a black spotted hassock.

When you write copy you have the right to copyright the copy you write.

I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice-cream!

How many cookies could a good cook cook If a good cook could cook cookies?

Lesser leather never weathered wetter weather better.

Gobbling gargoyles gobbled gobbling goblins.

The thirty-three thieves thought that they thrilled the throne throughout Thursday.

Seventy seven benevolent elephants.

Picky people pick Peter Pan Peanut-Butter, tis the peanut-butter picky people pick.

Wrongfully copying a right writ, a right rite or copy is not right.

Six sleek swans swam swiftly southwards.

#FunnyandJokes